In 1920 Warren G. Harding ran for President on the promise that he would lead Americans back to the life they knew and loved before the Great War. That, and the promise that one day US History students would have to write boring essays about the Teapot Dome Scandal, was enough to get him elected our 29th President. I mention this because I am currently on my own quest for a Return to Normacly. After slightly more than a week back in Los Angeles I am slowly making my way back to the life I knew and loved before the Great Cancer. As a result I have greatly neglected this blog. For that I apologize but on the plus side I haven't spurned the League of Nations, engaged in rampant cronyism or taken kickbacks for an oil field lease. I'm no Harding. I'm just a guy that is so happy to home he's shirking his duties and leaving his loyal readers hanging. Not one of the worst Presidents of all time.
Now that we've drawn a very distinct line in the sand between me and Warren G. Harding let me update you on a few things. First of all, this will be one of my last blog posts. Not because I'm quiting this whole scribbling down my always witty and insightful opinions thing, I'll never give up on opening my big mouth. Or, in the case of the written word, wiggling my sausage fingers. No, this will be my last blog post because in the infinite wisdom of blogspot I am no longer eligible to have a monetized site. I'd hate to think that the good people at blogspot would arbitrarily decide that the whole dollar fifty a day I was making on average was above and beyond what they are willing to pay a talented blogger and as a result they froze my account. I'd like to say that they had good reasons for doing what they did. I'd like to say that but I can't. I can't because they won't tell me why they did what they did. So, since I can no longer hang my hat on the hopes and dreams of making my fortune through julesfunwithcancer@blogspot.com I will now be switching to a site of my very own. Hopefully, it will up and running tomorrow but since I'm an idiot to the world of websites I really wouldn't be surprised if I'm back here tomorrow, apologizing profusely to blogspot and begging them to take me back. Tomorrow being Valentine's Day, blogspot will probably expect flowers and chocolates. But let's face it, they're a bunch of computer nerds so chances are they've already got terrible skin and the chocolate won't be doing them any favors. Since they undoubtedly never venture outside the flowers will cause their allergies to go haywire. Plus, they won't take me back so easily. I'm the one leaving them. I've got Hand. I try to come back and you just know they'll rub my nose in it and take my Hand. It could get really ugly. A bunch of chubbers with pasty pox marked skin lording their superior computer know-how over me until I flip out Ike Turner style. Then I'm back, a day later, grovelling "Who loves you, Blogspot? You don't think Julesfunwithcancer is sorry? If Julesfunwithcancer could take it back he would. Come on, Blogspot, baby, don't do Jules like that."
Yeah, there can be no going back. With a little luck I'll be posting here one last time tomorrow to tell all of you to go to my new site. And what a site it will be. There will be prizes and give aways and some kind of reward/points system that lets you get cheap crap in exchange for loyal readership! It'll be like a State Fair only you won't even have to go to the trouble of putting on pants to attend. So, basically, it will be exactly like a State Fair.
Now that we've drawn a very distinct line in the sand between me and Warren G. Harding let me update you on a few things. First of all, this will be one of my last blog posts. Not because I'm quiting this whole scribbling down my always witty and insightful opinions thing, I'll never give up on opening my big mouth. Or, in the case of the written word, wiggling my sausage fingers. No, this will be my last blog post because in the infinite wisdom of blogspot I am no longer eligible to have a monetized site. I'd hate to think that the good people at blogspot would arbitrarily decide that the whole dollar fifty a day I was making on average was above and beyond what they are willing to pay a talented blogger and as a result they froze my account. I'd like to say that they had good reasons for doing what they did. I'd like to say that but I can't. I can't because they won't tell me why they did what they did. So, since I can no longer hang my hat on the hopes and dreams of making my fortune through julesfunwithcancer@blogspot.com I will now be switching to a site of my very own. Hopefully, it will up and running tomorrow but since I'm an idiot to the world of websites I really wouldn't be surprised if I'm back here tomorrow, apologizing profusely to blogspot and begging them to take me back. Tomorrow being Valentine's Day, blogspot will probably expect flowers and chocolates. But let's face it, they're a bunch of computer nerds so chances are they've already got terrible skin and the chocolate won't be doing them any favors. Since they undoubtedly never venture outside the flowers will cause their allergies to go haywire. Plus, they won't take me back so easily. I'm the one leaving them. I've got Hand. I try to come back and you just know they'll rub my nose in it and take my Hand. It could get really ugly. A bunch of chubbers with pasty pox marked skin lording their superior computer know-how over me until I flip out Ike Turner style. Then I'm back, a day later, grovelling "Who loves you, Blogspot? You don't think Julesfunwithcancer is sorry? If Julesfunwithcancer could take it back he would. Come on, Blogspot, baby, don't do Jules like that."
Yeah, there can be no going back. With a little luck I'll be posting here one last time tomorrow to tell all of you to go to my new site. And what a site it will be. There will be prizes and give aways and some kind of reward/points system that lets you get cheap crap in exchange for loyal readership! It'll be like a State Fair only you won't even have to go to the trouble of putting on pants to attend. So, basically, it will be exactly like a State Fair.
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