NFL WEEK 4

I would like to start this post with a message to one of my non-readers.  A blog that only receives about forty readers per day has significantly more non-readers than readers but this non-reader is kinda famous.  Peter Clay Carroll, this blog is dedicated to you. 

Pete, for the last week I've listened to you sound like a petulant child.  A kid that got away with something but won't acknowledge he got away with it.  Instead insisting he deserved it.  No wink and nod like your rookie QB, Russell Wilson, was smart enough to do.  No we caught a lucky break on that one. Nothing but the ridiculous insistence that the officials were "right on point" and "saw the whole thing."  Insisting that it was then reviewed in the booth and the next day by the NFL and the call stands.  I don't know if this ludicrous stance was dictated to you by the powers that be or if Peter Clay Carroll decided on your own a complete and total refusal to even slightly hint at the atrocity of the call would eventually lead people to forget what occurred on the final play.  We'll call it the Fox News approach.  The hope that if you say something enough - "it was simultaneous when they went to the ground" - no matter how inaccurate it is to the rules or the facts, one day someone will be fool enough to believe it.  Who knew Pete Carroll was a Tea Partier?

In an effort for full disclosure, I have never been the biggest fan of Pete Carroll, head coach.  Not that I dislike you personally.  I have no idea what you're like as a person.  Good or bad.  You're probably a great guy.  You certainly seem well liked.  No, I wasn't a fan because I lived in NYC while you coached the Jets. Moved to Boston on the tail end of your stint with the Patriots.  Follow the NFL to a fault and have never seen any evidence to convince me you're a very good coach.  Also, I wasn't too impressed with how you bolted from USC when they shit was about to hit the fan. The nonsense this week confirmed all my long held beliefs.  Pete Carroll gives interviews like an over caffeinated phys ed teacher gives sex ed classes.  Rambling, incoherent and mildly uncomfortable with the whole thing.  If I didn't know what you were talking about before the question was asked I'm even more confused by your answer. 

In closing, I will now be actively rooting against you, Pete Carroll, and your team, the Seattle Seahawks.  Where as before I didn't believe Seattle mattered enough as a city or a team to invest anything greater than a passing moment of thought I will now attempt to cultivate negative energy against them. I doubt I'm alone on this.  With reports of gambling swings in the 500 billion range based on that horrific call, you can be pretty certain Seattle has generated a veritable tsunami of bad karma.  I'm kinda excited for the possibilities of heartbeaking losses that await the Seahawks the remainder of the season.

Okay, now that we've cleared the air on how I feel about what went on last Monday night let's get to the NFL picks!  I'm already 0-1 after picking the Ravens -11 over the Browns. Thanks, Joe Flacco, for reminding me why I should never give up more than -6.5 on you.

FALCONS -7 over Panthers - All the things I said last year about why Cam Newton wasn't a reliable starting QB in the NFL are being proven to be true this year.  Why'd it take a year? You got me but even Ryan Leaf looked halfway decent in his first few starts.  I'm not saying Cam is the next Ryan Leaf but don't be surprised if by the end of the 2013 season Carolina is shopping him.

Patriots -3.5 over BILLS - I think the Bills will be a solid team, maybe even a playoff team but I cannot imagine the Pats losing three in a row.  They win and they win huge. 

LIONS -4 over Vikings - Tremendous win for the Vikes last week.  Almost a " this is their Super Bowl" type win.  I expect a letdown this week as a result.  Throw in the Lions blowing the OT against the Titans and they'll be up big for a home divisional game.

Chargers pick'em over CHIEFS - If the Chiefs had the ability to stop anyone I'd be all over them against Norv Turner on the road in division but... Okay - Strike that CHIEFS OVER CHARGERS!  I'm so glad I remembered how poorly coached a squad the Chargers are.

RAMS +3.5 over Seahawks - Why? Because fuck you, Seattle! That's why!

TEXANS -12 over Titans - I just cannot pick against Houston right now.  From top to bottom they are too good.  Jake Locker up against the Texans D? That doesn't sound pretty.

Niners -3.5 over JETS - Jim Harbaugh does not let what happened last week against Minny happen again this week.  He just doesn't.

Raiders +8 over BRONCOS - I hate making this pick but I'm losing faith in Peyton Manning.  I'm not giving that Denver offense over a touchdown to beat a feisty Oakland team by.  Doesn't make sense.

CARDS -4.5 over Dolphins - Arizona might be for real! I could swear there was a rule somewhere about never putting your faith in a guy sporting a billy goat on his chin but - Wow - this team looks good.  Got to like them against a Dolphins team that couldn't put away the struggling Jets at home.

Bengals pick'em over JAGS - I don't know what to make of the Jags.  They look awful to me but then again that was a respectable win against the Colts last week.  I'm gonna stick with my old formula of when the teams look evenly matched go with the one from the stronger division. 

PACKERS -7.5 over 'aints - This will be a blood bath.  Even with the cross country midnight trip on the heels of the prison rape level bad calls the Pack took in Seattle they'll be up for this game.  They'll be up for taking it out on someone. 

Redskins +3 over BUCS - Josh Freeman is not a good quarterback.  I'm 100% convinced of that now.  Schiano will be drafting his QB next year.

Giants +2.5 over EAGLES - The Giants, on the road, as the dog, cannot lose.  I don't know why that is but under Coughlin and Eli it just is.

COWBOYS -3 over Bears - I fully expect some one on Dallas to put Jay Cutler on a stretcher at some point in this game.  Holy shit is that a terrible O-line.

Last week 10-6 (that's right, I'm counting the Packer pick as a W.  For the rest of my life it will be #1 on every list of the worst call of all time)

Overall - 23-23-2









 

Capturing the Moment

A few weekends ago we scattered my Father's ashes.  And then the weekend after that we scattered some more.  There's still a whole lot left over and we've got plans for those too.  Some will be buried,  others moved to the west coast, still more flown to West Virginia, and finally a  smattering will be buried in a undisclosed location so as to not reduce the property value of a lake home.  We are, essentially, drawing and quartering my Dearly Departed Dad.  And we are capturing these moments on film.  These are not solemn moments.  They are irreverent, much like my late namesake.  I don't know how other people scatter ashes but in my family we scatter ashes with a smile.  Below are some photos of the events.  Enjoy.  We did.

From Old Town it's only a short 45 minute ride to the coast and Dad didn't seem to mind riding in the way back of the Scion to get there.

He was happy to get out of the car and take in the fresh ocean air at one of his favorite spots in Acadia National Park.  The Fabbri Lookout.  Dad loves US History, especially when it involves an Italian that's smart enough to sit through a war by listening to the radio while sitting near an amazing view.  Yet another story of heroic Italians involved in military history.  No word as to if Alessandro Fabbri was good with a switch blade, odds are yes. 

 

From there we headed to the cove. It was a mildly overcast day, exactly the kind of weather Dad loved on the coast of Maine.  He asked for a quick shot before heading down to the rocks below for the official scattering.

 

It was just a hop skip and a jump down to the rocks below (Dad's surprisingly light on his feet since his passing) and once again he insisted on some pics to remember the event by.  Here's one with him in a very dramatic, introspective pose.

After a bit of convincing I did get him to turn around and give a smile before launch.

The next weekend we were off to the Summer camp my family spent so many years working and volunteering at.  Once again, Dad wanted so shots with some of his favorite spots before he said goodbye.  I didn't have the heart to tell him the fireplace wasn't lit.



On the boat dock Dad was thrilled to meet President Obama and insisted on having a photo taken with him.

 And then one on his lap. 

Finally, I captured him in a quiet reflective moment before getting unceremoniously tossed into the lake. 

There will be other scattering to come and, of course, more photos.  Because my Mother, Sister and I all agree - that's the way he would have wanted it. 

Love you, Dad.  Miss you every day.

NFL Week 3 and a VEGAS WEEKEND!

For the first time since 2008 I'll be in Las Vegas during football season.  Over the last four years I've been to Vegas probably a dozen times but for some reason never during Fall.  As you can imagine, I'm pretty excited.  I've got visions of scenes from that terrible movie 21 running through my head.  Getting comped with the high rollers suite, breaking the banks of casinos with my fool proof wagering,  hanging out with Kevin Spacey, getting chased by a bloated Lawrence Fishburn.  Eventually coming to my senses and realizing that Kate Bosworth's soft spoken acting technique is just a trick to cover up the fact she's incredibly boring (and kind of a butter face).  Oh, what a trip this will be.  Plus, I'll be reunited with The General and his wild drunken gambling.  I fully expect to be asked to leave at least one sports book.  A good time will be had by all.

Here's this week Red Hot Stone Cold Shoe In Locks!
(and by the way, I picked the G-men +3 last night on facebook while at the airport yesterday.  I'd have put it up on the blog but I couldn't access it from my "smart"phone.  You'll just have to trust me.  And fuck that stupid fuckin phone)

BEARS -7 over Rams - The Ram's look halfway decent under Jeff Fisher but I have a feeling the Bears are looking to dish out a beating after last weeks laugher in Green Bay.  My guess is the media is making way too much out of Jay Cutler's sulking and the team hasn't abandoned him in favor Jason Campbell.

Bills -2.5 over BROWNS - The Browns are better than their record.  I'm certain of it.  And I'm also certain they'll fall to 0-3 and be Way Better than their record next week.

COWBOYS -7.5 over Bucs - Let's start by saying I love Greg Schiano.  He will absolutely turn the Bucs into a contender.  That being said, the Cowboys have a whole lot of weapons and they tend to light it up at home.  Eventually Schiano will own Little Opie Cunningham when it comes to NFL Coaching ability but right now his squads over matched.

Lions -3.5 over TITANS - The Titans simply can't score.  The Lions can score as easily as a C-level celebrity returning for a class reunion.  Throw in Chris Johnson tossing his O-line under the bus this week by complaining about his blocking and you've got a potential blow out on your hands.

COLTS -3 over Jags - I'm off the Blaine Gabbert bandwagon after just one week.  That may be my shortest bandwagon ride of all time.  The Andrew Luck bandwagon ride starts now!

Chiefs +10 over SAINTS - The Saints D is awful.  Terrible.  Can't stop anybody.  The Chiefs can't really stop anybody either but believe it or not their defensive numbers are better than the Saints.  Based on that completely weak reason and that reason alone I'll take Romeo Crannel on the road. Yikes.

CARDS +3.5 over Eagles - The Eagles might be the worst 2-0 team of all time.  Followed closely by the 2-0 Cards.  This may also be one of the worst meeting of undefeated teams.  This is a trap game for the Eagles with a big game next weekend and a cross country road trip so - and I can't believe I'm saying this - I'm betting on Kevin Kolb! 

Bengals +3 over SKINS - I'll be avoiding this game while in LV.  I really have no idea which side to go on this game so I'm going with the team that I feel is from the stronger division.  The Bengals are scrappy and with four games a year against the Ravens and Steelers they know how to get nasty.

VIKES +7.5 over Niners - On a neutral field or in San Fran this would be a Niners pick hands down.  But I still like Christian Ponder and I think the Vikings can be surprisingly tough at home. 

Jets pick'em over DOLPHINS - I'm shocked by this line.  I don't think much of the Jets but apparently Vegas thinks even less of them.  Maybe I'm missing something but I don't see how a W over an under performing Raiders team is worth so much more than an expected loss to a Steelers team.  Has Tebow been named the starter and I missed it?

Falcons +3 over CHARGERS - I don't care how many times the pick blows up in my face I WILL NEVER PICK Norv Turner against legitimate playoff teams.  I don't care if it's at home against a squad coming off the classic Monday Night Hangover.

Texans -1 over BRONCOS - The Broncos D is for real.  Their O?  I don't know if Manning just had a bad game or if the Falcons exposed a real problem in his post four neck surgeries passing ability.  He looked like the same old Manning against the Steelers.  So maybe it was the dome and the Falcons home crowd?  Hard to know.   

Steelers -3.5 over RAIDERS - I'm not too thrilled with the Steelers these days.  Little to no run game, a shaky offensive line, a D that no longer dominates the line of scrimmage.  This team is worse off than I thought before the season began.  That being said, they are way way way better than the Raiders. 

RAVENS -1 over Patriots - This is another BAFFLING line.  How are the Ravens only giving up one point?  They was robbed by the refs against Philly last week.  They're playing a team they should have beaten in the AFC Championship last year.  The Pats are banged up with limited offensive weapons.  This game looks like a pummeling to me.  Heavy action in Vegas for me on this one.

Packers -3 over SEAHAWKS - A friend of mine is pissed at me because I don't think his favorite team, the Seahawks, is any good.  So this one's for you, Hanson: if the Seahawks win this game (not just cover but actually win) I'll pick them for the rest of the year.  No matter how stupid it makes me feel or what it does to my weekly wins total.  I'll even stop saying how bad a coach Pete Carroll is.  That's how confident I am about the Packers in this game. 
 

NFL WEEK 2

Today my Mom, Sister and I make another trip with our dearly departed Dad to spread some ashes at one of his favorite places on earth.  I'll eventually provide you with a photo essay of the various trips and burials (or rather sprinklings) but right now I need to turn around my dismal first week of NFL prognostications. 

I'm off to a halfway decent start this week with a second half cover by the Bears in the Thursday nighter after missing a chance to post my pick before kick-off.  In the hopes of keeping that one half win streak alive - here's my NFL Week Two picks.

BILLS -3 over Chiefs - This is a head scratcher game.  On one hand, I really don't care at all about the outcome of what I'm sure will be a horrible three hours of professional football.  On the other hand I feel at least a little bit of pride in my pre-season predictions and the Bills were a team I was high on two weeks ago.  So, I'm going with the age old axiom of home team and 3 or less points when all else is equal.  Sure, that sounds about right.

BENGALS -7 over Browns - The Bengals played head to head with the Ravens up until the point that they didn't.  And then it was all over because it was almost like they entire Cincy team looked at each other, shrugged and then gave up.  They won't do that again.  This is a solid team with good talent on both sides of the ball.  They romp on Cleveland in an effort to get their manhood back after bending over so easily in the second half against Baltimore.

GIANTS -7 over Bucs - Same basic premise for the Giants as listed above.  They looked foolish at times against Dallas.  They're too well coached and they've got too much pride to have it happen twice.  I almost feel bad for Tampa and the beating that awaits.

Vikings -1.5 over COLTS - I said it last year and I'll say it again this year - Christian Ponder has skillz.  Real deal, QB skillz.  Throw in a halfway decent pass rush, a surprisingly spry Adrian Peterson and some potential big play WR's and the Vikes could be a surprise team.  At the very least they should beat the Colts and start the season 2-0!

Oakland -1 over DOLPHINS - I always find it an outrageous advantage for the home team when a West Coast teams has to play a 1pm EST game.  It strikes me as something the Players union or the owners would have tried to eliminate a long time ago but we've got two of these games this week and plenty more to come this season.  Even with that advantage - the Dolphins are 100% awful.  Just really a terrible excuse for a pro football team.  And if you are reading this for anything other than entertainment purposes - tease Oakland with the under.

PATS -13.5 over Cards - Another West Coast (or in this case time zone) vs. East Coast 1pm-er.  Plus Kevin Kolb is involved. How is this line not 21?

Ravens +3 over EAGLES - I'd like to thank Tedy Bruschi and the rest of the ESPN analysts for the all new "don't be a hero" theories to explain why Mike Vick tends to stink.  Is that it?  That he's trying to hard to be a hero?  And all this time I thought it was because he'd never bothered to learn how to read coverages.  But the hero thing... yeah, now it all makes sense.

Saints -2.5 over PANTHERS - I'm not willing to believe the Saints are as bad as they looked last week.  They may very well be as bad as they looked but I'm not ready to accept it yet.  So, against a Carolina team that might be even worse than I predicted two weeks ago, I'll gladly give up less than a field goal.

JAGS +8 over Texans - If it were less than a touchdown then I'm all over the Texans but... am I crazy or did Blaine Gabbert look half-way competent last week?  Maybe even a little like a guy that deserved to be drafted in the first round a year ago?  Am I crazy?  I think the Jags can not only cover but possibly pull out the upset.

Skins -3.5 over RAMS - Even though Jeff Fisher just was awarded some kind of mustache prize I don't think it will be enough for a St. Louis team that's already all banged up just two weeks into the season.  Also - damn RGIII is good! Got a feeling he'll keep looking good this week against an iffy D.

Cowboys -3 over SEAHAWKS - Every one is talking about this being a trap game for Dallas but for some reason no one is talking about how abysmal of a coach Pete Carroll is.  I mean, holy shit! How do you lose to Kevin Kolb when you get four (4) timeouts in the final minutes of the game.  Fuckin FOUR Time Outs! And not one mattered. Whatever home field advantage Seattle gets with their crowd is automatically negated by their knucklehead of a coach.

STEELERS -5 over Jets - See my Bengals and Giants pick.  Too tough of a squad with too much pride to roll over two week in a row.  The Steelers had a real shot against Denver but let it fall apart in the fourth quarter, they won't forget that this Sunday against a far less talented team in New York.

Titans +7 over CHARGERS - Despite winning last week, the Chargers looked really blah.  They should have clubbed the Raiders and they only managed to score one touchdown off of something like 4 turnovers.  If the Raiders hadn't lost their long snapper I don't think the Chargers would have won the game.  Think about that - they got the W because of Oakland's long snapper getting injured.  That's not going to happen again.  The Titans aren't that great but they're as good as the Raiders and as far as I know they've got a healthy long snapper.  Maybe even two.

NINERS -7 over Lions - The Niners are nasty! Like, punch you in the face, knock you on the grown and step on your throat nasty.  If they didn't have Alex Smith as their QB I'd say they are the best all around team in the league.  But they do.  So they aren't.  They are, however, nasty enough to beat a Lions team out of their dome.

FALCONS -3 over Broncos - This game could very easily be played again at the Super Bowl in February.  Both teams are loaded and playing great. I'll go with the Falcons simply because they're at home and it's only three points.








 

Thursday Night Football (halftime) Pick

Okay, so I totally screwed up and failed to post my pick for tonights Bears v Packers game.  My bad, I spent most of the day writing a script that will one day provide me with union membership and solid healthcare benefits. 

Here's my halftime bet based on a line I found on bovada.com.  I like the Bears +1.5 over the Pack in the second half. 

The weekends picks will be up tomorrow evening.

Last week - 6-9-1

NFL WEEK ONE (SUPER) PICKS!

On the one year anniversary of the passing of my Father I will squeeze in a quick round of NFL picks before heading off with my Mother and Sister to spread some ashes Big Lebowski Style.

And no, we have no permits.  We don't need no stinking permits.

BEARS -9.5 over Colts - If Andrew Luck could also play defense I'd take the points but he can't so I'm fully expecting the Colts to get stomped by the Bears offense.

Eagles -8 over BROWNS - I predict the high point for Cleveland fans today will be the chance to BOO the legacy of Art Modell.  Oh, wait, the NFL's decided to not bother a single second of acknowledgement of his contribution to the city and the league because they expect a poor reaction.  Stay classy, Cleveland.

Bills +3 over JETS - The Bills looks strong, the Jets can't score. The Rex Ryan Eventual Unemployment Watch begins today.

SAINTS -7 over Skins - Unless, by chance, in a stunning move of juvenile power positioning, Roger Goodell decides to suspend the entire Saints D because they won't stop making funny faces at him!

Patriots -5.5 over TITANS - Jake Locker's first start of the new season and he's not even getting Six Points!  Vegas has far more faith in him than I do.

VIKINGS -3 over Jags - Even more amazing Blaine Gabbert on the road and Vegas only gives him 3?  They must really not like Christian Ponder.

TEXANS -13 over Dolphins - This line could be 20 and I'd still be laying the points.  The Dolphins look BAD.  FYI - this line started at 6.5 - it literally doubled over the week.  Absolutely no one believes in the Dolphins.

LIONS -9 over Rams - I like the chances for the Rams this year but not on the road, in Detroit on opening day. 

NINERS +5.5 over Packers - Call me crazy but I can't envision Green Bay pulling off another year of zero D, very little running game and throwing the ball fifty times a game and dominate.  Especially against a team with a great D and a power run game.  Also, Lions + Niners = Great teaser bet.

Falcons +2.5 over CHIEFS - I cannot believe this line! Atlanta looks like one of the best teams in the league.  What's KC gonna be? Second in the West? 

Panthers -1 over BUCS - I'm no Ron Rivera fan but I'm no fool either.  This seems like an impossibly low line. 

CARDS +3 over Seahawks - I really don't like either one of these teams so I'll take the home team with the points on opening day.  Also, I look forward to the eventual shot of Matt Flynn and Kevin Kolb chatting with each other on the field:  "Can you believe how much money they wasted on our mediocre talent?"  "I know, it's crazy right!"

Steelers +2 over BRONCOS - I expect the Steelers to come in with a chip on their shoulder over how they went out in the playoffs last year.

Bengals +8.5 over RAVENS - I'm torn on this game.  The Ravens have a big emotional lift with Modell's passing but the Bengals strike me as a team with very real potential this year.  If the spread were two points lower, I'd go the other direction.

RAIDERS pick'em over Chargers - Much like Rex Ryan, the Norv Turner Eventual Unemployment Watch begins on Monday.

So far this week, 0-1.







 

NFL PREVIEW - YOU'RE WELCOME

The 2012 NFL Season begins in just 8 hours as a begin to write this, which I'd like to think makes my NFL Preview article the most last minute of them all. Not having an editor on my ass or getting paid to write these may have something to do with it but also, to be fair, I have been really busy laying pool side in Palm Springs. So, with time time crunch as an issue, here we go.

AFC

EAST

PATRIOTS – 14-2. Yet another year with a total patsy schedule for the NFL's Golden Boy. Is David Stern running the league now? I say they wind up with a number one spot then lose in the second round to a team that had to actually prove themselves during the season.

 

BILLS – 10-6. Buffalo fans welcome to a wild card spot and a loss in the first round! Remember what it feels like to be a relevant team?  You're back!  You've got play makers at wide receiver and running back, you've got a pass rush, your QB is spotty but he can lead you to a very respectable season. Chan Gailey might even be a solid coach... okay, let's not go crazy.

 

JETS – 6-10 at best. This team is horrible. Hard to win games when you can't score points. Sexy Rexy's last season as an HC for a while. Also, Mark Sanchez punches Tim Tebow in the face at some point during the season. Tebow turns the other cheek. Conservative Christians everywhere pee their collective pants over the story.

DOLPHINS – 3-13. Hard Knocks is an amazing show. I really hope they give a 13 episode show to the Dolphins coaching staff. It doesn't even have to involve the football season. I'd love to see Joe Philbin sending food back at a restaurant. “It's nothing you did, it's just not working out for the both of us.” Also, the meathead TE's coach, Dan Campbell, is a comedic genius, only he's not trying to be funny. On the plus side Ryan Tannehill will be a very good QB eventually.

NORTH
RAVENS – 11-5. I have nothing to say about these thugs other than I bet they beat puppies.

STEELERS – 11-5. Aging. Slowly but surely letting a great O's potential get eclipsed by a D that no longer has the horses. As a fan, it's hard to watch.

BENGALS – 9-7. A team on the come. As I predicted last year, the Red Rocket is a real deal NFL QB. Not flashy, not a guy with a giant arm but smart, efficient and crafty enough to make all the right throws. Like a Ginger Joe Montana. I'm not saying he'll have that kind of career but I am saying he sure looks like the same kind of talent.

BROWNS – 5-11. I feel for Cleveland fans. For one, they are apparently unaware that they can move away from Cleveland. And two, the Browns used to be a cornerstone franchise in the league. I know that's hard to believe for anyone under the age of twenty-seven but it's true. Three, they are now owned by a Steelers fan!

SOUTH

TEXANS – 12-4. Remember a few years back when the AFC South was one of the best divisions in football. Look at them now. The Texans can walk into a playoff spot thanks to the three absolutely terrible teams they get to play twice a season. I don't even think this team is that good but when you get damn near six games off in a seventeen week season you don't have to do that much.

TITANS – 8-8. Second because there has to be a second place and for no other reason. I'm not sold on Locker as a QB, on Chris Johnson being anything other than a couple year flash in the pan and on Mike Munchak as a successful head coach. Too many question marks to make them look like anything but an ordinary team.

 

COLTS – 6-10. The good news, Andrew Luck looks incredible. The bad news, the rest of the 53 man roster looks pathetic and I see no evidence that Chuck Pagano can coach them up.

JAGUARS – 4-12. The metaphorical train that new owner Khan keeps referring to is literally headed for Los Angeles in 2015.

WEST

BRONCOS – 12-4. If a team with Tim Tebow at the helm can not only make the playoffs but beat the Steelers than that nearly same team with Manning at the controls is a shoe-in for the number two seed in the post-season. This team goes far.

RAIDERS – 10-6. I'm predicting a rock solid year for Oakland. This team is fast, tough and under new coach and late night talk show pioneer Steve (make that Dennis) Allen, hopefully, a little more disciplined. Plus they get to play against Norv Turner and Romeo Crennel twice a year and that never hurt anybody.

CHIEFS – 9-7. Solid talent with poor coaching always equals a below average team. I'm predicting a number of losses in close games. That's indicative of two things, poor adjustments (coaching) and poor conditioning (also coaching). Lucky for Romeo, he's not the worst coach in the West.

CHARGERS – 7-9. Good bye, Norv and good luck at whatever other occupation you dedicate your mediocre talents too. Thanks for wasting Rivers best years with your terrible influence.

NFC

EAST

EAGLES – 12-4. A great regular season followed by a poor showing in the playoffs. So basically a repeat of almost every year Andy Reid has been the coach there. But he'll lose his job after this one. Oh, and as an added bonus the new coach in 2013 won't know what the hell to do with Mike Vick, eventually making him the most expensive backup in the history of the NFL.

GIANTS – 10-6. They'll do just enough to get a wild card seed and then dominate in the playoffs. Loaded D, great coaching, excellent QB play, basically stacked from top to bottom. The NY Giants have a real chance to repeat this year.

COWBOYS – 9-7. Ordinary. Unexceptional. Lifeless. Basically, Jason Garrett in a nutshell.

REDSKINS – 7-9. RGIII is bona fide. Mike Shannahan was an excellent coach a one point in his life, their D is stout but I just don't see a lot of play makers on the edges. They'll be a tough opponent but ultimately a below average team when all is said and done.

NORTH

LIONS – 13-3. I could be out of my mind but this team reminds me of the Dallas Cowboys of the early 90's. Lots of swagger. Big time play makers. A dominate d-line. A hothead coach with a big chip on his shoulder. Checks all the boxes. I'm not 100% on this but I feel pretty strongly about it. I say they become everyone's bandwagon pick by about week 9 but then blow it in the playoffs. Look out for them in 2013.

BEARS - 10-6. I still don't know what to make of Jay Cutler, Lovie Smith or Brian Urlacher. When you've got question marks about your three most basic pillars of a team then you just aren't a truly great team. I do look forward to the crazy of Brandon Marshall.

PACKERS – 10-6. Lot's of O and not enough D. Not nearly enough D. They will have big big trouble against equally prolific offenses.

VIKINGS – 5-11. No one comes back the same from an ACL injury. Not even someone as gifted a Adrian Peterson so that really only leaves a spotty Christian Ponder and the plodding Toby Gerhart as the offensive bright spot for the Vikes. Their D may keep them in some games but they just don't have the horses to compete week to week.

SOUTH

FALCONS – 14-2. Loaded. Just absolutely stacked on offense. I don't see anyone keeping them out of the end zone on a regular basis. So then it comes to the question – Is Mike Smith a good coach or is he Mike Tice 2.0. I'm leaning toward MT2.0 but I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.

SAINTS – 9-7. They must of had the worst possible off season in the history of all of professional sports but they are still a incredibly talented team. If they had a real head coach and a little less drama they'd be the odds on favorite for the Super Bowl. But they don't.

PANTHERS – 7-9. I'm still not sold on Cam Newton and I'm probably one of the last hold outs. Besides being really really big he just doesn't look like the kind of quarterbacks that consistently succeed in the league. He may put up big numbers but so did Jeff George. Throwing a great long ball will only get you so far. I predict the better D-Coordinators figure him out this year and a sophomore slump turns into an eventual career trend. Also, Ron Rivera is still their HC. Never a good sign.

BUCS – 2-14. I have little to no opinion of this team. I want to like Josh Freeman but I'm completely unconvinced that he will make it as a big-time starter. It looks like Schiano's a no-nonsense coach that's going to clean house and that means at least one pretty terrible season maybe next years as well.

WEST

49ERS – 13-3. It always helps to have three terrible teams on your schedule twice a year. To be fair I do think the Niners are a rock solid team. I'm still not convinced that Alex Smith is able to make the big plays down the stretch but they have put the talent around him to at least give him a chance. Throw in an outstanding D, a strong running game and smart coaching and you've got a possible Super Bowl squad. Possible but not likely.

RAMS – 7-9. The following three picks are in order of Head Coaching Ability and QB talent. I know those shouldn't be the only reasons to pick teams but hey, these aren't the best teams. Jeff Fisher is a marginally better coach than Ken Whisenhunt and he's ten times the coach Pete Carroll is. On top of that both the Cards and Seahawks would kill to have the fragile Sam Bradford on their depth chart. So it's the Rams by default in a terrible, awful, ugly division.

SEAHAWKS – 6-10. Good Bye, Peter Clay Carroll and good luck at your upcoming mid-level D-1 football job. I'd recommend the Sun Belt conference, low academic standards, close to big time SEC schools and they'll probably look the other way on your repeated recruiting violations. I am looking forward to Russell Wilson putting on his Flutie mullet and doing a passable impersonation of the Natick Night Train (I just made that nickname up) for the better part of the season.

CARDINALS – 4-12. I love how all the sports outlets have reported on the QB “battle” going on in Arizona between Skelton and Kolb. It's not a battle it's a game of hot potato. “You take it. No, you take it. No, it's yours I insist. No, no this ones all you.” These guys can't get out of their own way. It's almost seems impossible the Cards were in the Super Bowl just a few years ago.

SUPER BOWL – RAVENS v. FALCONS. Ravens win it (probably by cheating).

 

Tonight's game - GIANTS -4 over Cowboys