Today my Mom, Sister and I make another trip with our dearly departed Dad to spread some ashes at one of his favorite places on earth. I'll eventually provide you with a photo essay of the various trips and burials (or rather sprinklings) but right now I need to turn around my dismal first week of NFL prognostications.
I'm off to a halfway decent start this week with a second half cover by the Bears in the Thursday nighter after missing a chance to post my pick before kick-off. In the hopes of keeping that one half win streak alive - here's my NFL Week Two picks.
BILLS -3 over Chiefs - This is a head scratcher game. On one hand, I really don't care at all about the outcome of what I'm sure will be a horrible three hours of professional football. On the other hand I feel at least a little bit of pride in my pre-season predictions and the Bills were a team I was high on two weeks ago. So, I'm going with the age old axiom of home team and 3 or less points when all else is equal. Sure, that sounds about right.
BENGALS -7 over Browns - The Bengals played head to head with the Ravens up until the point that they didn't. And then it was all over because it was almost like they entire Cincy team looked at each other, shrugged and then gave up. They won't do that again. This is a solid team with good talent on both sides of the ball. They romp on Cleveland in an effort to get their manhood back after bending over so easily in the second half against Baltimore.
GIANTS -7 over Bucs - Same basic premise for the Giants as listed above. They looked foolish at times against Dallas. They're too well coached and they've got too much pride to have it happen twice. I almost feel bad for Tampa and the beating that awaits.
Vikings -1.5 over COLTS - I said it last year and I'll say it again this year - Christian Ponder has skillz. Real deal, QB skillz. Throw in a halfway decent pass rush, a surprisingly spry Adrian Peterson and some potential big play WR's and the Vikes could be a surprise team. At the very least they should beat the Colts and start the season 2-0!
Oakland -1 over DOLPHINS - I always find it an outrageous advantage for the home team when a West Coast teams has to play a 1pm EST game. It strikes me as something the Players union or the owners would have tried to eliminate a long time ago but we've got two of these games this week and plenty more to come this season. Even with that advantage - the Dolphins are 100% awful. Just really a terrible excuse for a pro football team. And if you are reading this for anything other than entertainment purposes - tease Oakland with the under.
PATS -13.5 over Cards - Another West Coast (or in this case time zone) vs. East Coast 1pm-er. Plus Kevin Kolb is involved. How is this line not 21?
Ravens +3 over EAGLES - I'd like to thank Tedy Bruschi and the rest of the ESPN analysts for the all new "don't be a hero" theories to explain why Mike Vick tends to stink. Is that it? That he's trying to hard to be a hero? And all this time I thought it was because he'd never bothered to learn how to read coverages. But the hero thing... yeah, now it all makes sense.
Saints -2.5 over PANTHERS - I'm not willing to believe the Saints are as bad as they looked last week. They may very well be as bad as they looked but I'm not ready to accept it yet. So, against a Carolina team that might be even worse than I predicted two weeks ago, I'll gladly give up less than a field goal.
JAGS +8 over Texans - If it were less than a touchdown then I'm all over the Texans but... am I crazy or did Blaine Gabbert look half-way competent last week? Maybe even a little like a guy that deserved to be drafted in the first round a year ago? Am I crazy? I think the Jags can not only cover but possibly pull out the upset.
Skins -3.5 over RAMS - Even though Jeff Fisher just was awarded some kind of mustache prize I don't think it will be enough for a St. Louis team that's already all banged up just two weeks into the season. Also - damn RGIII is good! Got a feeling he'll keep looking good this week against an iffy D.
Cowboys -3 over SEAHAWKS - Every one is talking about this being a trap game for Dallas but for some reason no one is talking about how abysmal of a coach Pete Carroll is. I mean, holy shit! How do you lose to Kevin Kolb when you get four (4) timeouts in the final minutes of the game. Fuckin FOUR Time Outs! And not one mattered. Whatever home field advantage Seattle gets with their crowd is automatically negated by their knucklehead of a coach.
STEELERS -5 over Jets - See my Bengals and Giants pick. Too tough of a squad with too much pride to roll over two week in a row. The Steelers had a real shot against Denver but let it fall apart in the fourth quarter, they won't forget that this Sunday against a far less talented team in New York.
Titans +7 over CHARGERS - Despite winning last week, the Chargers looked really blah. They should have clubbed the Raiders and they only managed to score one touchdown off of something like 4 turnovers. If the Raiders hadn't lost their long snapper I don't think the Chargers would have won the game. Think about that - they got the W because of Oakland's long snapper getting injured. That's not going to happen again. The Titans aren't that great but they're as good as the Raiders and as far as I know they've got a healthy long snapper. Maybe even two.
NINERS -7 over Lions - The Niners are nasty! Like, punch you in the face, knock you on the grown and step on your throat nasty. If they didn't have Alex Smith as their QB I'd say they are the best all around team in the league. But they do. So they aren't. They are, however, nasty enough to beat a Lions team out of their dome.
FALCONS -3 over Broncos - This game could very easily be played again at the Super Bowl in February. Both teams are loaded and playing great. I'll go with the Falcons simply because they're at home and it's only three points.
I'm off to a halfway decent start this week with a second half cover by the Bears in the Thursday nighter after missing a chance to post my pick before kick-off. In the hopes of keeping that one half win streak alive - here's my NFL Week Two picks.
BILLS -3 over Chiefs - This is a head scratcher game. On one hand, I really don't care at all about the outcome of what I'm sure will be a horrible three hours of professional football. On the other hand I feel at least a little bit of pride in my pre-season predictions and the Bills were a team I was high on two weeks ago. So, I'm going with the age old axiom of home team and 3 or less points when all else is equal. Sure, that sounds about right.
BENGALS -7 over Browns - The Bengals played head to head with the Ravens up until the point that they didn't. And then it was all over because it was almost like they entire Cincy team looked at each other, shrugged and then gave up. They won't do that again. This is a solid team with good talent on both sides of the ball. They romp on Cleveland in an effort to get their manhood back after bending over so easily in the second half against Baltimore.
GIANTS -7 over Bucs - Same basic premise for the Giants as listed above. They looked foolish at times against Dallas. They're too well coached and they've got too much pride to have it happen twice. I almost feel bad for Tampa and the beating that awaits.
Vikings -1.5 over COLTS - I said it last year and I'll say it again this year - Christian Ponder has skillz. Real deal, QB skillz. Throw in a halfway decent pass rush, a surprisingly spry Adrian Peterson and some potential big play WR's and the Vikes could be a surprise team. At the very least they should beat the Colts and start the season 2-0!
Oakland -1 over DOLPHINS - I always find it an outrageous advantage for the home team when a West Coast teams has to play a 1pm EST game. It strikes me as something the Players union or the owners would have tried to eliminate a long time ago but we've got two of these games this week and plenty more to come this season. Even with that advantage - the Dolphins are 100% awful. Just really a terrible excuse for a pro football team. And if you are reading this for anything other than entertainment purposes - tease Oakland with the under.
PATS -13.5 over Cards - Another West Coast (or in this case time zone) vs. East Coast 1pm-er. Plus Kevin Kolb is involved. How is this line not 21?
Ravens +3 over EAGLES - I'd like to thank Tedy Bruschi and the rest of the ESPN analysts for the all new "don't be a hero" theories to explain why Mike Vick tends to stink. Is that it? That he's trying to hard to be a hero? And all this time I thought it was because he'd never bothered to learn how to read coverages. But the hero thing... yeah, now it all makes sense.
Saints -2.5 over PANTHERS - I'm not willing to believe the Saints are as bad as they looked last week. They may very well be as bad as they looked but I'm not ready to accept it yet. So, against a Carolina team that might be even worse than I predicted two weeks ago, I'll gladly give up less than a field goal.
JAGS +8 over Texans - If it were less than a touchdown then I'm all over the Texans but... am I crazy or did Blaine Gabbert look half-way competent last week? Maybe even a little like a guy that deserved to be drafted in the first round a year ago? Am I crazy? I think the Jags can not only cover but possibly pull out the upset.
Skins -3.5 over RAMS - Even though Jeff Fisher just was awarded some kind of mustache prize I don't think it will be enough for a St. Louis team that's already all banged up just two weeks into the season. Also - damn RGIII is good! Got a feeling he'll keep looking good this week against an iffy D.
Cowboys -3 over SEAHAWKS - Every one is talking about this being a trap game for Dallas but for some reason no one is talking about how abysmal of a coach Pete Carroll is. I mean, holy shit! How do you lose to Kevin Kolb when you get four (4) timeouts in the final minutes of the game. Fuckin FOUR Time Outs! And not one mattered. Whatever home field advantage Seattle gets with their crowd is automatically negated by their knucklehead of a coach.
STEELERS -5 over Jets - See my Bengals and Giants pick. Too tough of a squad with too much pride to roll over two week in a row. The Steelers had a real shot against Denver but let it fall apart in the fourth quarter, they won't forget that this Sunday against a far less talented team in New York.
Titans +7 over CHARGERS - Despite winning last week, the Chargers looked really blah. They should have clubbed the Raiders and they only managed to score one touchdown off of something like 4 turnovers. If the Raiders hadn't lost their long snapper I don't think the Chargers would have won the game. Think about that - they got the W because of Oakland's long snapper getting injured. That's not going to happen again. The Titans aren't that great but they're as good as the Raiders and as far as I know they've got a healthy long snapper. Maybe even two.
NINERS -7 over Lions - The Niners are nasty! Like, punch you in the face, knock you on the grown and step on your throat nasty. If they didn't have Alex Smith as their QB I'd say they are the best all around team in the league. But they do. So they aren't. They are, however, nasty enough to beat a Lions team out of their dome.
FALCONS -3 over Broncos - This game could very easily be played again at the Super Bowl in February. Both teams are loaded and playing great. I'll go with the Falcons simply because they're at home and it's only three points.
Your man called--your credit line is extended based on the shoddy performance during week 1.
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