If you are a man that has put on some sort of lotion in my presence then I have mocked you. Either out loud or in my head, I have mocked your sensitive skin and your delicate skin care regimen. I probably called you Sally or Twinkie. Maybe Nancyboy, Cupcake or Tinkerbell. You and your soft hands and face were in no way man enough to live in my world. A world filled with calluses, blisters, hangnails and on some occasions - razor burn. You did not want any part of my world! Your supple hands and shiny cheeks wouldn't last ten minutes in my non-moisturized world. You'd be begging for aloe vera in a matter of moments. I would throw my head back in maniacal laughter then slowly rub my dry and scratchy palm over the back of your perfectly Jojoba oiled hands. It wouldn't hurt so much as it would irritate and you could wind up with a slight abrasion - I'm not a monster.
Karma has a sick and twisted sense of humor. For the last week or so I have been one large rash. My arms and legs itch to no end. I was concerned this could be a side effect of the radiation. I asked the doctor if this was something I'd have to live with for the next three weeks. I was informed that it was probably just dry skin. Just dry skin! That's what I call Real Man Skin! So tough it could be mistaken for a canvas tarp. I did not need a lotion for just dry skin. It had to be more than that. Still, he insisted. Maine winters can be tough, he said, it'll really dry you out, I moisturize every morning. I nearly attacked his cottony soft face. This couldn't be happening to me. I grew up here. I know all about Maine winters. I didn't require lotion then and I don't now. He wrote down a word. Eucerin. It's not cheap but it works he said. I am disgusted with myself for now knowing what this is. For having googled it. For comparing the ingredients of various creams. Disgusted.
I have resorted to lotions, creams, moisturizers, oils and anything else that may put a stop to this never ending scratching. My palms are now so soft I have trouble holding things. I can no longer open tight lids. I could barely get the gas cap off my truck. I no longer deserve to be driving a truck. With the weight gain and resulting man-boobs and now the skin cream usage I'm basically a frilly dress away from becoming a full blown woman. A bearded woman but a woman none the less. Nancyboy. Sally. Twinkie. Cupcake. Tinkerbell.
Karma has a sick and twisted sense of humor. For the last week or so I have been one large rash. My arms and legs itch to no end. I was concerned this could be a side effect of the radiation. I asked the doctor if this was something I'd have to live with for the next three weeks. I was informed that it was probably just dry skin. Just dry skin! That's what I call Real Man Skin! So tough it could be mistaken for a canvas tarp. I did not need a lotion for just dry skin. It had to be more than that. Still, he insisted. Maine winters can be tough, he said, it'll really dry you out, I moisturize every morning. I nearly attacked his cottony soft face. This couldn't be happening to me. I grew up here. I know all about Maine winters. I didn't require lotion then and I don't now. He wrote down a word. Eucerin. It's not cheap but it works he said. I am disgusted with myself for now knowing what this is. For having googled it. For comparing the ingredients of various creams. Disgusted.
I have resorted to lotions, creams, moisturizers, oils and anything else that may put a stop to this never ending scratching. My palms are now so soft I have trouble holding things. I can no longer open tight lids. I could barely get the gas cap off my truck. I no longer deserve to be driving a truck. With the weight gain and resulting man-boobs and now the skin cream usage I'm basically a frilly dress away from becoming a full blown woman. A bearded woman but a woman none the less. Nancyboy. Sally. Twinkie. Cupcake. Tinkerbell.
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