POS Cars. We've all owned them. I've had more than my fair share. Over the course of my life as a licensed driver I have yet to own a vehicle less than ten years older than the current model year. That doesn't necessarily make them Pieces of Shit. Far from it in some cases. If you own a Subaru, Toyota or Honda it can be thirty years old and still as reliable as anything rolling off the line from England, Italy or France. My current vehicle is a 1992 Toyota Pickup. I've owned it since 2005. During that time I've put over 85,000 miles on it and had to repair or replace four things - the main rear seal, the radiator, the battery and the ignition cylinder. 160,000 total miles and it fires up like clockwork. It cost me $1800. Also, with body damage on the rear passenger side and a badly bent bumper it delivers exactly the right message to the other cars on the road - Uninsured Driver. Rarely does anyone jockey for position with me in rush hour traffic. That truck is like Meryl Streep. Not much to look at but brings its A game every time.
My Lovely Girlfriend, on the other hand, has a legit POS car. Amazingly it's only 7 years old. Truth be told it was a total and complete Piece of Shit the day it rolled out of the factory. The Saturn Ion 3. A car that must have been exclusively conceived for and marketed to women that go car shopping without the aid of a man. Want to check your fluids? Good luck with that! You can't even check the tranny without the aid of a lift and some wrenches. Why? Because as the owners manual conveniently points out, you don't need to ever check the transmission fluid. Oh, thank you good people of Saturn for deciding what I do and don't need to check on my own fuckin car!
So what was the first thing to go on this trash can with wheels? That's right, the transmission. After only 120,000 miles. That's a warm up on a Toyota. Guess what she's driving while I'm back in Maine and Sophie's Choice is sitting in a driveway in Los Angeles? She already is talking about fixing it up so she can be the cool sexy chick that drives around in a hot truck. I'm fine with it. I'll be driving my Dad's Tacoma across country when I'm done radiation. It's a 2001. It's no POS. It's a great truck and I'm proud to drive it knowing that I got if from my Dad. On top of that it maintains my record of not owning a vehicle less than ten years old.
My Lovely Girlfriend, on the other hand, has a legit POS car. Amazingly it's only 7 years old. Truth be told it was a total and complete Piece of Shit the day it rolled out of the factory. The Saturn Ion 3. A car that must have been exclusively conceived for and marketed to women that go car shopping without the aid of a man. Want to check your fluids? Good luck with that! You can't even check the tranny without the aid of a lift and some wrenches. Why? Because as the owners manual conveniently points out, you don't need to ever check the transmission fluid. Oh, thank you good people of Saturn for deciding what I do and don't need to check on my own fuckin car!
So what was the first thing to go on this trash can with wheels? That's right, the transmission. After only 120,000 miles. That's a warm up on a Toyota. Guess what she's driving while I'm back in Maine and Sophie's Choice is sitting in a driveway in Los Angeles? She already is talking about fixing it up so she can be the cool sexy chick that drives around in a hot truck. I'm fine with it. I'll be driving my Dad's Tacoma across country when I'm done radiation. It's a 2001. It's no POS. It's a great truck and I'm proud to drive it knowing that I got if from my Dad. On top of that it maintains my record of not owning a vehicle less than ten years old.
You know the whole "celebrity doppelganger" thing a while back? You know who I am most often told I look like? Meryl Streep. Thanks Jules! ;)
ReplyDeletep.s. Remember in the 90s when Saturn used to try to convince people that owning a Saturn made you part of an awesome club who had parties and such? Clearly an attempt to convince people there was actually 1 good thing about owning a Saturn. I actually had a friend whose parents went to Saturn parties... Oh, the 90s!
Sarah Kate, you are much prettier than Meryl Streep and I'm sure you are just as reliable.
ReplyDeleteALso, Saturn did the whole - the price we quote is the price You Get to Pay! Like I'm somehow excited that I get to pay full sticker on a brand new car. Crazy.
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