If you have been a regular reader of the blog then you already know that the Lovely Girlfriend is in no way drawn to the rustic charm of Maine. She has, on various occasions, described her experience in Maine as: Trees and snow. Nothing and nowhere. Who would live like this? Don't they know there are other places they could live? The last one is my favorite, as if the entire population of Maine has never looked at a US map. Okay, okay, so in all likelihood a significant percentage of our population probably hasn't ever seen a map. They've at least heard about other places and if they truly are Mainer's they dream about one day moving to Florida. Zephyrhills preferably.
You can imagine my surprise while walking with her through the streets of The Old Port when she dropped "I could see us owning a place here." Holy Shit! The Lovely Girlfriend is ready to make the move to Maine! I don't even want to live in Maine full time and she's already picturing our life there. After a moment to keep myself from keeling over in shock, I respond "I'd rather have a place in the woods, on a lake." This brought the conversation to a screeching halt. Turns out The Lovely Girlfriend still has no real interest in living in Maine as a true Mainer would. She wants to live in the heart of the Old Port. That's not Maine. Portland is a city in Maine, a great city, but it is not Maine. I pointed out that we already live in a city and the whole point of one day getting a place in Maine is to get away from civilization. This argument fell on deaf ears. The Lovely Girlfriend looks at cities as a great way to avoid spending time in the country not the other way around. I guess that eventual log cabin tucked away in the woods will have to be for my own getaways. And moonshine. That'll be where I make my likker.
More on the last part at a much later date. Now onto my Portland Travel Guide.
We braved a wintry mix all the way from Bangor in an effort to make it down to Portland by 10am. Why? Because someone signed up for the Polar Dip and Dash on a whim. The same someone that hates cold weather. I didn't believe she would even get out of the truck once we arrived but after driving three plus hours at around 45mph on icy roads I think she decided running the 5k no matter what the weather would be better than hearing a single I told you so from me. Just the day before the Lovely Girlfriend had flown into Portland and it probably would have made a lot of sense to simply remain in Portland but I didn't want her to miss a chance to dine at the crown jewel in the Bangor culinary scene - The Ground Round. So wake up early and make the drive we did with bellies bloated with poppers and flingers.
Celebrity Photo-Op is the long time organizer of the Polar Dip and Dash as well as the resident crazy person that makes the plunge into the icy Atlantic every year. To date she has lost three toes on her left foot due to frostbite. All in the name of ending Global Warming. Now that's commitment... from someone that should probably be committed. CP-O did do a great job of organizing a reunion of sorts for former employees of the summer camp we all used to work at. Downtown (a nickname since high school), his wife The Legal Guardian (part lawyer, part starting guard on the roller derby team) as well as Ballerina Bear (she won the costume contest with that get up), Ironic Moustache (imagine Rollie Fingers with flair) and finally Big V (I have no idea if it's big or not but she's worked most of her adult life with the Vagina Monologues so at the very least it's important) were all there. Only CP-O and Ballerina Bear were foolish enough to get in the water. Once we were done laughing at the hundred or so Rubes that went in we decided to head to The Great Lost Bear.
The Great Lost Bear is a fantastic pub with surprisingly inconsistent food. They have a massive menu, everything on it sounds tremendous but it can be rather hit or miss. I've eaten there a dozen times or more and had as many disappointments as I've had home runs. The beer list is also massive and thankfully a lot more consistent. Mostly ales from craft breweries around the US with some old European standards thrown in. Throw in a creative cocktail list and even with the spotty food this is a great place to hit in Portland. The Lovely Girlfriend threw back a Burnt Trailer (Allen's Coffee Brandy and Moxie - two Maine staples that horrify most of the rest of the country) and an A-Okay (Allen's and Oakhurst milk, she had it with 2%, with whole milk it's called Fat Ass in a Glass). Odd how much she loves the drink of choice for rural Maine but doesn't like the rural. Babysteps.
We stayed our first night at the Best Western Merry Manor in South Portland because it was New Years Eve and every hotel in downtown was booked solid. The Merry Manor wasn't too shabby accommodations especially considering the price (free, become a Best Western Member, great bennys) but it was chock full of teenagers and smelled so strongly of marijuana that you'd get a contact high when going to fill the ice bucket. The teen couples appeared very excited to get biz-zee on NYE based on all the grouping we witnessed in the lobby and hallways. We didn't stay long at the hotel as we had been invited by Big V to a NYE party. Big V's sister (Drunken Zooey because she looked a lot like what I'd imagine Zooey Deschanel would look like totally hammered) and her brother-in-law (Paul Schneider, he looks like him plus they are both in All the Real Girls which I never saw but I'm assuming they wound up together in the end) bought a house straight out of The Partridge Family. It is a completely untouched 1960's rambler and a kick ass house to throw a party. Thank you, Drunken Zooey, Paul Schneider, Big V and all the rest. The Lovely Girlfriend and I had a great time.
Okay, got to run some errands and get zapped - only 5 left! Tune in for part II this evening.
You can imagine my surprise while walking with her through the streets of The Old Port when she dropped "I could see us owning a place here." Holy Shit! The Lovely Girlfriend is ready to make the move to Maine! I don't even want to live in Maine full time and she's already picturing our life there. After a moment to keep myself from keeling over in shock, I respond "I'd rather have a place in the woods, on a lake." This brought the conversation to a screeching halt. Turns out The Lovely Girlfriend still has no real interest in living in Maine as a true Mainer would. She wants to live in the heart of the Old Port. That's not Maine. Portland is a city in Maine, a great city, but it is not Maine. I pointed out that we already live in a city and the whole point of one day getting a place in Maine is to get away from civilization. This argument fell on deaf ears. The Lovely Girlfriend looks at cities as a great way to avoid spending time in the country not the other way around. I guess that eventual log cabin tucked away in the woods will have to be for my own getaways. And moonshine. That'll be where I make my likker.
More on the last part at a much later date. Now onto my Portland Travel Guide.
We braved a wintry mix all the way from Bangor in an effort to make it down to Portland by 10am. Why? Because someone signed up for the Polar Dip and Dash on a whim. The same someone that hates cold weather. I didn't believe she would even get out of the truck once we arrived but after driving three plus hours at around 45mph on icy roads I think she decided running the 5k no matter what the weather would be better than hearing a single I told you so from me. Just the day before the Lovely Girlfriend had flown into Portland and it probably would have made a lot of sense to simply remain in Portland but I didn't want her to miss a chance to dine at the crown jewel in the Bangor culinary scene - The Ground Round. So wake up early and make the drive we did with bellies bloated with poppers and flingers.
Celebrity Photo-Op is the long time organizer of the Polar Dip and Dash as well as the resident crazy person that makes the plunge into the icy Atlantic every year. To date she has lost three toes on her left foot due to frostbite. All in the name of ending Global Warming. Now that's commitment... from someone that should probably be committed. CP-O did do a great job of organizing a reunion of sorts for former employees of the summer camp we all used to work at. Downtown (a nickname since high school), his wife The Legal Guardian (part lawyer, part starting guard on the roller derby team) as well as Ballerina Bear (she won the costume contest with that get up), Ironic Moustache (imagine Rollie Fingers with flair) and finally Big V (I have no idea if it's big or not but she's worked most of her adult life with the Vagina Monologues so at the very least it's important) were all there. Only CP-O and Ballerina Bear were foolish enough to get in the water. Once we were done laughing at the hundred or so Rubes that went in we decided to head to The Great Lost Bear.
The Great Lost Bear is a fantastic pub with surprisingly inconsistent food. They have a massive menu, everything on it sounds tremendous but it can be rather hit or miss. I've eaten there a dozen times or more and had as many disappointments as I've had home runs. The beer list is also massive and thankfully a lot more consistent. Mostly ales from craft breweries around the US with some old European standards thrown in. Throw in a creative cocktail list and even with the spotty food this is a great place to hit in Portland. The Lovely Girlfriend threw back a Burnt Trailer (Allen's Coffee Brandy and Moxie - two Maine staples that horrify most of the rest of the country) and an A-Okay (Allen's and Oakhurst milk, she had it with 2%, with whole milk it's called Fat Ass in a Glass). Odd how much she loves the drink of choice for rural Maine but doesn't like the rural. Babysteps.
We stayed our first night at the Best Western Merry Manor in South Portland because it was New Years Eve and every hotel in downtown was booked solid. The Merry Manor wasn't too shabby accommodations especially considering the price (free, become a Best Western Member, great bennys) but it was chock full of teenagers and smelled so strongly of marijuana that you'd get a contact high when going to fill the ice bucket. The teen couples appeared very excited to get biz-zee on NYE based on all the grouping we witnessed in the lobby and hallways. We didn't stay long at the hotel as we had been invited by Big V to a NYE party. Big V's sister (Drunken Zooey because she looked a lot like what I'd imagine Zooey Deschanel would look like totally hammered) and her brother-in-law (Paul Schneider, he looks like him plus they are both in All the Real Girls which I never saw but I'm assuming they wound up together in the end) bought a house straight out of The Partridge Family. It is a completely untouched 1960's rambler and a kick ass house to throw a party. Thank you, Drunken Zooey, Paul Schneider, Big V and all the rest. The Lovely Girlfriend and I had a great time.
Okay, got to run some errands and get zapped - only 5 left! Tune in for part II this evening.
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