Or even better, don't bother to go. You'd be saving yourself a lot of
trouble if you just stuck to Interstate 35 or 70 or 40 or whatever other route
you may be traveling. I'll admit it's kind of interesting to travel across the
back roads you need to get on to get there but there has never been a better
example of the phrase it's the journey not the destination. Because the
destination is fuckin shit. Dodge City, as imagined from days of yore, was
bulldozed under about thirty years ago. That does not keep the Dodge City
Chamber of Commerce from advertising that a visit to Dodge City is a visit to
the Old West. Old being a relative term of course. The current Dodge City is
about as old as I am.
What they built isnt even a reasonable facsimile of the Old West. It's a bunch of 70's style brick arcitecture with cheap looking wood planked walkways in front. Oh, and posters. Lots and lots of posters of what Dodge City looked like just thirty plus years before when it was an actual time-capsule of a Legendary Old West Town. They even do the posters in black and white to give you that old timey feel. Unless, for some reason color film was not yet available for purchase in this podunk outpost. Maybe color film needed to be ordered from the one Sears and Roebuck catalogue that the dry goods store had on hand but because that was the first building razed and before anyone from the town hall had decided to capture this historically bad business decision they settled on black & white. Either way it was a real stroke of genius. Those photos clearly convey just how much cooler it would have been to be there then. Instead of now, which sucks. I probably could have found them online and not had to face the crushing realization that SugarDust and I had just driven about 130 miles out of our way so we could feast our eyes on a crappy sandwich shop, a dentists office and a Wallgreens.
As we climbed back into the truck, understanding we had just blown about three hours of our already long day of travel, SugarDust finally got to utter the famous slogan he'd been waiting so long to say - Time to get out of Dodge. Only SugarDust expanded on this famous slogan, what came out of his mouth was - Let's get the fuck out of Dodge and try to forget that we ever wasted a single fucking second here. While profane it was certainly appropriate.
We could not drive fast enough in our departure.
What they built isnt even a reasonable facsimile of the Old West. It's a bunch of 70's style brick arcitecture with cheap looking wood planked walkways in front. Oh, and posters. Lots and lots of posters of what Dodge City looked like just thirty plus years before when it was an actual time-capsule of a Legendary Old West Town. They even do the posters in black and white to give you that old timey feel. Unless, for some reason color film was not yet available for purchase in this podunk outpost. Maybe color film needed to be ordered from the one Sears and Roebuck catalogue that the dry goods store had on hand but because that was the first building razed and before anyone from the town hall had decided to capture this historically bad business decision they settled on black & white. Either way it was a real stroke of genius. Those photos clearly convey just how much cooler it would have been to be there then. Instead of now, which sucks. I probably could have found them online and not had to face the crushing realization that SugarDust and I had just driven about 130 miles out of our way so we could feast our eyes on a crappy sandwich shop, a dentists office and a Wallgreens.
As we climbed back into the truck, understanding we had just blown about three hours of our already long day of travel, SugarDust finally got to utter the famous slogan he'd been waiting so long to say - Time to get out of Dodge. Only SugarDust expanded on this famous slogan, what came out of his mouth was - Let's get the fuck out of Dodge and try to forget that we ever wasted a single fucking second here. While profane it was certainly appropriate.
We could not drive fast enough in our departure.
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