My Father recently received a ticket from the LAPD
in the mail. Obviously, he's not driving that much these days and the ticket was
intended for me. It was one of those BS red light camera tickets which by all
accounts in the news is no longer something that Los Angeles is enforcing due to
some kind of contractual issue with the technology company that supports the
system or something of that nature. Either way, never wanting to miss a chance
to give the needle to any form of authority I wrote a response to the ticket.
Below is my letter to the City of Los Angeles. I think the old man would be
proud.
To whom it may concern,
To whom it may concern,
I am writing on behalf of my late father Julio V
DeSanctis III and in regards to the traffic violation that we recently received
in the mail for him. Sadly, my father passed away on September 9th,
2011. I have enclosed a photocopy of his death certificate. As you can see by
the date of the alleged violation, this could clearly not be my late father
driving the vehicle in question as we've tried very hard to make sure he doesn't
use the car since his untimely demise. Additionally, the handsome man so
perfectly captured in the photo is obviously not old enough to be born in 1943,
the year of my late fathers birth. Tops he's mid-thirties but looks like he
could pass for a man much younger. Damn, the camera really loves this guy! As
handsome as my late father was, he could not have passed for a man thirty years
(plus or minus, I'm just assuming) his junior. Especially seven months after his
passing. He really started to let himself go at that point..
Additionally, it appears by the multiple shots of
the incident in question, that the violation is not a violation at all. Upon
further inspection, this appears to be a smart-looking someone making a right on
red. A perfectly legal move in all states but New York last I checked. As far as
I can tell there is not a single “No Right on Red” sign posted that would cause
such a maneuver to result in said traffic violation. If you look real close in
the second photo you can even detect the stunning man behind the wheel putting
the breaks on. You can't see the rugged good looks of the man in question of
course as the second photo is of the back of the truck but you can see the break
lights illuminated and you can imagine just how powerful and successful he would
appear while applying them.
In closing, this is, without a doubt, not my late
father. Please take care of the ticket on his behalf. If you would like to make
a donation in his name to Cancer Care of Maine or the United Methodist Church,
New England Conference that would be greatly appreciated as well.
Best,
Name and Address withheld.
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