I just watched the very annoying opening to ESPN's College Gameday. I could have sworn Big & Rich (or BaconRanch as the Ladies Man and I call them) had died in some kind of fiery, douche-baggy, Ed Hardy Factory explosion. Perhaps I dreamed it. Well, here's to hoping dreams come true.
BaconRanch's horrible music not withstanding I have been inspired by Lee Corso and the Boys. Today I am announcing my Cancer Tour 2012! I don't have the dates set yet - that depends on the all clear from the Doctors. I don't have the locations set yet either - that depends on all of you. Where will I visit on my Cancer Tour 2012? Where am I invited to stay? Free of charge, of course. Who will cook meals for me? Do my laundry? Buy me beers to celebrate my victory over a cancer with a 95% cure rate? I'm leaving it up to you readers to plot my course. From Maine to LA. Let the bidding wars for my sparkling company begin!
And now - NFL PICKS!
GREEN BAY - 14 over St. Louis - I wanted to make the font for the Rams a lot smaller but I couldn't figure out how. I think it would have looked a little more appropriate. I expected a post-Super Bowl slump of sorts from The Pack but they are rolling through everybody. Their closest victory was against Carolina on a weak end of game cover. This is gonna get ugly.
PITTSBURGH -12 over Jacksonville - A lot of points to give up on The Steelers right now. They are so damn inconsistent. If Jacksonville runs it they could keep it close but I can't see that happening. Jacksonville is terrible and it seems like Del Rio is waiting to get fired.
WASHINGTON +3 over Philly - Philly is imploding right before our eyes. I have to wonder if Andy Reid is going to make it through the whole season. I can't believe I'm taking Rex Grossman.
DETROIT - 4 over San Fran - The D-line of Detroit is amazing. I felt sorry for Jay Cutler last week and he's not an easy guy to feel sorry for. Unless the 49ers plan to run it on every play I don't see how they can keep Alex Smith from being broken in half by Suh and the gang.
Carolina +4 over ATLANTA - I warned you, Atlanta. Welcome to the Dead To Me List. I don't see you coming off of it any time soon. I think that Carolina actually wins this game outright. Not just some cheap cover, a W.
Indy +7 over CINCY - DUTCH BOY PAINTS! DUTCH BOY PAINTS! DUTCH BOY PAINTS!
Buffalo +3.5 over NY GIANTS - I don't know. Really just a wild guess on this one. I feel like Eli Manning only gets word of the scheduled team a day or so before hand. "The Bills? Okay, is it an away game, do I get to stay in a fancy hotel?"
Houston +8 over BALTIMORE - So did Kubiak decide that it's easier to wind up 8-8 if the Texans alternate trying and not trying from week to week instead of starting hot and blowing the last half of the season? Is this his way of saving his job? We didn't collapse, we sucked on alternate weeks. That's an improvement, right?
OAKLAND -6.5 over Cleveland - I hate the Raiders and I love it when they are relevant - so I can hate them and it means something. This could be there comeback season thanks to Al Davis's passing and the new Do It for Al mentality that the teams adopting. As opposed to before he died when it was a Win In Spite of Al mentality.
NEW ENGLAND -6.5 over Dallas - I went back and forth on this pick a few times. Even against the worst passing defense in the league I can see Romo coughing up a couple crucial picks. But Rob Ryan's D's have given Brady trouble in the past. I say it is an ugly, turnover filled game and Romo's mistakes make the difference.
New Orleans - 4.5 over TAMPA - The Saints have too many weapons and they are going up against a team that couldn't stop Alex Smith. Seriously, Alex Smith.
CHICAGO -3 over Minny - I keep taking Chicago and I keep getting burned. Will it end this week? Maybe, let's hope.
NY JETS - 7 over Miami - Let's all take a moment to congratulate Coach Sparano for making it through the bye week with his job in tact. I can't imagine that he'll keep it until the end of the season but at this point each week is a tiny victory.
7-6 last week. Not great but at least it was on the plus side. 60-33 overall. Thank God for those two perfect weeks to begin the season. Amazing how that worked out
College Picks
MICHIGAN STATE - 2 over Michigan
Florida State - 13 over DUKE
Georgia Tech -8 over VIRGINIA
ILLINOIS -3.5 over Ohio State
Baylor +8 over TEXAS A&M
BaconRanch's horrible music not withstanding I have been inspired by Lee Corso and the Boys. Today I am announcing my Cancer Tour 2012! I don't have the dates set yet - that depends on the all clear from the Doctors. I don't have the locations set yet either - that depends on all of you. Where will I visit on my Cancer Tour 2012? Where am I invited to stay? Free of charge, of course. Who will cook meals for me? Do my laundry? Buy me beers to celebrate my victory over a cancer with a 95% cure rate? I'm leaving it up to you readers to plot my course. From Maine to LA. Let the bidding wars for my sparkling company begin!
And now - NFL PICKS!
GREEN BAY - 14 over St. Louis - I wanted to make the font for the Rams a lot smaller but I couldn't figure out how. I think it would have looked a little more appropriate. I expected a post-Super Bowl slump of sorts from The Pack but they are rolling through everybody. Their closest victory was against Carolina on a weak end of game cover. This is gonna get ugly.
PITTSBURGH -12 over Jacksonville - A lot of points to give up on The Steelers right now. They are so damn inconsistent. If Jacksonville runs it they could keep it close but I can't see that happening. Jacksonville is terrible and it seems like Del Rio is waiting to get fired.
WASHINGTON +3 over Philly - Philly is imploding right before our eyes. I have to wonder if Andy Reid is going to make it through the whole season. I can't believe I'm taking Rex Grossman.
DETROIT - 4 over San Fran - The D-line of Detroit is amazing. I felt sorry for Jay Cutler last week and he's not an easy guy to feel sorry for. Unless the 49ers plan to run it on every play I don't see how they can keep Alex Smith from being broken in half by Suh and the gang.
Carolina +4 over ATLANTA - I warned you, Atlanta. Welcome to the Dead To Me List. I don't see you coming off of it any time soon. I think that Carolina actually wins this game outright. Not just some cheap cover, a W.
Indy +7 over CINCY - DUTCH BOY PAINTS! DUTCH BOY PAINTS! DUTCH BOY PAINTS!
Buffalo +3.5 over NY GIANTS - I don't know. Really just a wild guess on this one. I feel like Eli Manning only gets word of the scheduled team a day or so before hand. "The Bills? Okay, is it an away game, do I get to stay in a fancy hotel?"
Houston +8 over BALTIMORE - So did Kubiak decide that it's easier to wind up 8-8 if the Texans alternate trying and not trying from week to week instead of starting hot and blowing the last half of the season? Is this his way of saving his job? We didn't collapse, we sucked on alternate weeks. That's an improvement, right?
OAKLAND -6.5 over Cleveland - I hate the Raiders and I love it when they are relevant - so I can hate them and it means something. This could be there comeback season thanks to Al Davis's passing and the new Do It for Al mentality that the teams adopting. As opposed to before he died when it was a Win In Spite of Al mentality.
NEW ENGLAND -6.5 over Dallas - I went back and forth on this pick a few times. Even against the worst passing defense in the league I can see Romo coughing up a couple crucial picks. But Rob Ryan's D's have given Brady trouble in the past. I say it is an ugly, turnover filled game and Romo's mistakes make the difference.
New Orleans - 4.5 over TAMPA - The Saints have too many weapons and they are going up against a team that couldn't stop Alex Smith. Seriously, Alex Smith.
CHICAGO -3 over Minny - I keep taking Chicago and I keep getting burned. Will it end this week? Maybe, let's hope.
NY JETS - 7 over Miami - Let's all take a moment to congratulate Coach Sparano for making it through the bye week with his job in tact. I can't imagine that he'll keep it until the end of the season but at this point each week is a tiny victory.
7-6 last week. Not great but at least it was on the plus side. 60-33 overall. Thank God for those two perfect weeks to begin the season. Amazing how that worked out
College Picks
MICHIGAN STATE - 2 over Michigan
Florida State - 13 over DUKE
Georgia Tech -8 over VIRGINIA
ILLINOIS -3.5 over Ohio State
Baylor +8 over TEXAS A&M
Ouch! Your bookie called and says its time to settle up!
ReplyDelete11-4-1 last week.
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