Before I begin handing out Christmas presents in early November I want to mention one thing. I realized something today, thanks to cancer I will never again have to help someone move. I'm a pretty big guy, I've got a pick-up truck and I used to work as a furniture mover so I am asked to help someone move about every month it seems. I almost always agree to lend a hand as I can never resist the opportunity to drink free beer and eat free pizza. This also allows me to see how much awful crap most of my friends have. I don't think it's because I've got poor friends (financially, I mean. I'm not saying they are poor excuses for human beings, well, not all of them). Having worked as a mover for a couple years I can tell you that everyone - even the very rich - have some awful crap that they are inexplicably hanging on to and in all likelihood they are a little bit embarrassed by it. This always leads to the moment when you go to pick up some box and find that it's filled with something totally off the wall - ancient Asian erotica, wallets that look like they were made either in a prison or at a summer camp, jars of brightly painted dead beetles (I swear) - and the owner of said box is forced to address its contents. They say one of two things "Those were my (insert dead relative here), I can't throw them out" or "That's going to be a collectors item one day." You are then forced to provide a supportive response like "I've been trolling Ebay for sexually graphic woodcarvings, they fetch a pretty penny." After that no one makes eye contact with each other for about twenty minutes.
Thanks to the Hodgkin's Lymphoma and the treatments to get rid of it I've got a built in excuse for at least the next couple years if not longer. I'm sorry, man, all my strength is sapped from the cancer. I'll tell you what, you can borrow my truck, I wish I could help out more. Oh, I don't think there's much for gas in it. Cheap sympathy and a free tank of gas, what could be better?
Okay, on with the picks.
BUFFALO -1 over New York Jets - I'm surprised this line has shrunk since the beginning of the week. Mark Sanchez on the road? Combine that with hearing at least three times this week that Fred Jackson's wife picked him in the late rounds of her fantasy draft. Cute little puff pieces are always a sign that a team is going to cover - look at the Niners stay in Canton, Ohio stories from a few weeks back. I saw the sign once before but I didn't capitalize on it, you won't get me again.
Atlanta - 7 over INDY - I'm no conspiracy theorist and I think Jim Irsay is normally too drunk to plan anything that would be this brilliant but if ten years from now it comes out that the Colts intentionally tanked because they had the perfect excuse with Manning out I will forever hate them.
DALLAS -11 over Seattle - Two huge up and down teams. I'm taking a stab at this, nothing more.
KANSAS CITY -4 over Miami - Could be a Monday night let down for the Chiefs but it's still against the Fins. As tough as Miami has played they looked absolutely crushed emotionally last week with the Giants coming back to beat them. Tears in their eyes crushed.
NEW ORLEANS -7.5 over Tampa - At home and pissed about choking against the Rams. Look for the Saints to crush the Bucs. Also, what happened to Josh Freeman? I thought this was supposed to be his breakout year?
San Fran -3 over WASHINGTON - I don't care if the Niners are making their third trip across the country, the Skins are completely and totally awful. With the exception of the Elway years is there any reason for us to continue to believe that Mike Shannahan is a good coach?
HOUSTON -10.5 over Cleveland - Colt McCoy, you and your super hero sounding name have let me down. I don't know why I'm disappointed other than much like when the Raiders are good and I love to hate them I used to love to hate the Old Cleveland Browns. You know the team that Baltimore stole from the good people of Cleveland after decades of bitching about how the Colts were stolen from them. Don't ever feel bad for or trust a person from Baltimore.
Cincy -1.5 over TENNESSEE - Colonel, didn't I tell you that Andy Dalton was going to be good? Didn't I?!
OAKLAND -7 over Denver - Timmy, please consider a position change. Please. You could make a great tight end, I know it. You will never make a great quarterback, we all know it.
New York Giants +10.5 over NEW ENGLAND - Seems like a whole ton of points for a Pats team to cover when you consider they can't stop the pass, rush the passer or protect Brady with any consistency. The Giants d-line is damn good, maybe the best front four in all of football.
ARIZONA pick 'em over St. Louis - Your who cares game of the week! Besides the mothers, girlfriends and wives of the players and coaches will anyone be watching?
SAN DIEGO +6 over Green Bay - Green Bay may win but even the rudderless Chargers have to know that if they don't get a W soon their season is over. I'm thinking this game looks something like 27-24 Packers on a last minute field goal.
PITTSBURGH -3 over Baltimore - Revenge game! Steelers are on the upswing, Ravens (well, really just Joe Flacco) are struggling. This game will probably determine the AFC North. So glad it's being played in the Burgh!
PHILLY -7 over Chicago - All I can see is the Eagles D-line standing over the crumpled body of Jay Cutler while the Bears lineman point fingers and Mike Martz stares at his clipboard.
Last week - 6-7
College Picks
LSU +5 over ALABAMA
Arizona State -8.5 over UCLA
Kansas State +21.5 over OAK STATE
Last week 2-2
Thanks to the Hodgkin's Lymphoma and the treatments to get rid of it I've got a built in excuse for at least the next couple years if not longer. I'm sorry, man, all my strength is sapped from the cancer. I'll tell you what, you can borrow my truck, I wish I could help out more. Oh, I don't think there's much for gas in it. Cheap sympathy and a free tank of gas, what could be better?
Okay, on with the picks.
BUFFALO -1 over New York Jets - I'm surprised this line has shrunk since the beginning of the week. Mark Sanchez on the road? Combine that with hearing at least three times this week that Fred Jackson's wife picked him in the late rounds of her fantasy draft. Cute little puff pieces are always a sign that a team is going to cover - look at the Niners stay in Canton, Ohio stories from a few weeks back. I saw the sign once before but I didn't capitalize on it, you won't get me again.
Atlanta - 7 over INDY - I'm no conspiracy theorist and I think Jim Irsay is normally too drunk to plan anything that would be this brilliant but if ten years from now it comes out that the Colts intentionally tanked because they had the perfect excuse with Manning out I will forever hate them.
DALLAS -11 over Seattle - Two huge up and down teams. I'm taking a stab at this, nothing more.
KANSAS CITY -4 over Miami - Could be a Monday night let down for the Chiefs but it's still against the Fins. As tough as Miami has played they looked absolutely crushed emotionally last week with the Giants coming back to beat them. Tears in their eyes crushed.
NEW ORLEANS -7.5 over Tampa - At home and pissed about choking against the Rams. Look for the Saints to crush the Bucs. Also, what happened to Josh Freeman? I thought this was supposed to be his breakout year?
San Fran -3 over WASHINGTON - I don't care if the Niners are making their third trip across the country, the Skins are completely and totally awful. With the exception of the Elway years is there any reason for us to continue to believe that Mike Shannahan is a good coach?
HOUSTON -10.5 over Cleveland - Colt McCoy, you and your super hero sounding name have let me down. I don't know why I'm disappointed other than much like when the Raiders are good and I love to hate them I used to love to hate the Old Cleveland Browns. You know the team that Baltimore stole from the good people of Cleveland after decades of bitching about how the Colts were stolen from them. Don't ever feel bad for or trust a person from Baltimore.
Cincy -1.5 over TENNESSEE - Colonel, didn't I tell you that Andy Dalton was going to be good? Didn't I?!
OAKLAND -7 over Denver - Timmy, please consider a position change. Please. You could make a great tight end, I know it. You will never make a great quarterback, we all know it.
New York Giants +10.5 over NEW ENGLAND - Seems like a whole ton of points for a Pats team to cover when you consider they can't stop the pass, rush the passer or protect Brady with any consistency. The Giants d-line is damn good, maybe the best front four in all of football.
ARIZONA pick 'em over St. Louis - Your who cares game of the week! Besides the mothers, girlfriends and wives of the players and coaches will anyone be watching?
SAN DIEGO +6 over Green Bay - Green Bay may win but even the rudderless Chargers have to know that if they don't get a W soon their season is over. I'm thinking this game looks something like 27-24 Packers on a last minute field goal.
PITTSBURGH -3 over Baltimore - Revenge game! Steelers are on the upswing, Ravens (well, really just Joe Flacco) are struggling. This game will probably determine the AFC North. So glad it's being played in the Burgh!
PHILLY -7 over Chicago - All I can see is the Eagles D-line standing over the crumpled body of Jay Cutler while the Bears lineman point fingers and Mike Martz stares at his clipboard.
Last week - 6-7
College Picks
LSU +5 over ALABAMA
Arizona State -8.5 over UCLA
Kansas State +21.5 over OAK STATE
Last week 2-2
Andy Dalton is reasonable, akin to Trent Dilfer in 2000 with the Ravens. He might eventually be good, but don't pull something patting yourself on the back for that pick. I, on the other hand, told anyone who would listen, before Manning's injury, that the Colts would stink. Their over/under for wins in Vegas was 11.5!?!
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