Here's how much I love you, readers, loyal followers, avid fans, members of the Cult of Jules... er, forget I mentioned that last one, that's just what I call all of you in private. What I was trying to get to is despite how lousy I feel, despite not ever making it out of my sweats for a few hours outside, despite needing to pack and rest for my big trip west, I am putting my needs aside to bring you this weeks NFL picks. That's how much I love you. Now drink the kool-aid. Drink it!
ATLANTA +1 over New Orleans - Saints are kind of up and down for a team that looks like they should be a lot more dominate. Falcons on a roll, able to grind it out thanks to Michael Turner against what looks like a weak front. I'm picking the Falcons on a coin flip.
Pittsburgh -3 over CINCY - Rookie QB vs a pissed off Steelers team. Even though the rookie QB is a beyond his years Andy Dalton, he's still a rookie.
St. Louis +3 over CLEVELAND - Two awful teams. Who wins? Who Cares! I'll take the points in a game that looks to set back the game of football by twenty years.
Buffalo +5.5 over DALLAS - I'll take a failed Dallas Cowboys coach over a soon to be failure as Cowboys coach. Is it possible that Gailey's a good coach and we never got to see it because Jerry Jones was pulling an Al Davis (which we should now start calling a Jerry Jones) and coaching from the owners box? I think it might be.
INDY +3 over Jacksonville - And you thought Rams v. Browns looked bad. That game looks like a barn burner compared to this.
KANSAS CITY -2.5 over Denver - So we've got a read option offense in the NFL now? That's awesome. I can't wait til teams start drafting QB's that run The Veer, Double Tight Wishbone and the Delaware Wing-T. Oh, wait, that's never going to happen because those offensive schemes don't work on professional defenses.
MIAMI -3.5 over Washington - Is it that there are a lot of shitty teams in the NFL this year or that they all happen to be playing each other this week? You know what, forget it. It doesn't matter. Just like this game.
PHILLY -12 over Arizona - Even with the win last week we are still in must win territory for the Eagles from here on out. If they go 7-1 over the last half of the season they still only wind up 10-6. That may not even get them a wild card. I say they keep fighting for a couple more weeks then pack it in which winds up costing Andy Reid his job. But it won't happen until at least next week, I hope.
Houston -3 over TAMPA - Since it looks like the Texans are actually pretty good I don't feel so bad about the Steelers losing to them early in the season. I think they are under-rated and I think we will start to hear about how under-rated they are after this weeks win.
Tennessee +4 over CAROLINA - Carolina's rush D is terrible and their Pass D is at best ordinary. I'm betting this is Chris Johnson's back from the dead game.
SEATTLE +7.5 over Baltimore - Trap game! West coast trip against a lousy team sandwiched between two divisional games. Baltimore wins but I don't know that they win by much.
Detroit +3 over CHICAGO - Monday night letdown game. Chicago's O-line played their asses off against the Eagles but I don't see it happening two weeks in a row.
NY Giants +3.5 over SAN FRAN - I'm still not sold on Alex Smith against teams that are actually good. And especially not against teams that have a d-line like the Giants.
New England +2 over NY JETS - As much as I hate the Pats, they don't lose three in a row. They don't. A big part of me hopes they do but they don't.
GREEN BAY -13 over Minny - I'll take the Packers making some adjustments for their second go around with Ponder. I like the Vikes in the second half of the season but not against the Packers at home. Too much.
Also, I'm gonna go ahead and give myself a W on the Raiders/Chargers game. Nobody thinks less of Norv Turner than I do. If that's not enough to convince you then I'll be throwing down the Cancer Card. I didn't want to but you made me.
Last week
7-7
UFC FIGHT - Cain Velasquez beats Dos Santos by decision.
WBO FIGHT - Manny Pacquiao beats Marquez in 8
ATLANTA +1 over New Orleans - Saints are kind of up and down for a team that looks like they should be a lot more dominate. Falcons on a roll, able to grind it out thanks to Michael Turner against what looks like a weak front. I'm picking the Falcons on a coin flip.
Pittsburgh -3 over CINCY - Rookie QB vs a pissed off Steelers team. Even though the rookie QB is a beyond his years Andy Dalton, he's still a rookie.
St. Louis +3 over CLEVELAND - Two awful teams. Who wins? Who Cares! I'll take the points in a game that looks to set back the game of football by twenty years.
Buffalo +5.5 over DALLAS - I'll take a failed Dallas Cowboys coach over a soon to be failure as Cowboys coach. Is it possible that Gailey's a good coach and we never got to see it because Jerry Jones was pulling an Al Davis (which we should now start calling a Jerry Jones) and coaching from the owners box? I think it might be.
INDY +3 over Jacksonville - And you thought Rams v. Browns looked bad. That game looks like a barn burner compared to this.
KANSAS CITY -2.5 over Denver - So we've got a read option offense in the NFL now? That's awesome. I can't wait til teams start drafting QB's that run The Veer, Double Tight Wishbone and the Delaware Wing-T. Oh, wait, that's never going to happen because those offensive schemes don't work on professional defenses.
MIAMI -3.5 over Washington - Is it that there are a lot of shitty teams in the NFL this year or that they all happen to be playing each other this week? You know what, forget it. It doesn't matter. Just like this game.
PHILLY -12 over Arizona - Even with the win last week we are still in must win territory for the Eagles from here on out. If they go 7-1 over the last half of the season they still only wind up 10-6. That may not even get them a wild card. I say they keep fighting for a couple more weeks then pack it in which winds up costing Andy Reid his job. But it won't happen until at least next week, I hope.
Houston -3 over TAMPA - Since it looks like the Texans are actually pretty good I don't feel so bad about the Steelers losing to them early in the season. I think they are under-rated and I think we will start to hear about how under-rated they are after this weeks win.
Tennessee +4 over CAROLINA - Carolina's rush D is terrible and their Pass D is at best ordinary. I'm betting this is Chris Johnson's back from the dead game.
SEATTLE +7.5 over Baltimore - Trap game! West coast trip against a lousy team sandwiched between two divisional games. Baltimore wins but I don't know that they win by much.
Detroit +3 over CHICAGO - Monday night letdown game. Chicago's O-line played their asses off against the Eagles but I don't see it happening two weeks in a row.
NY Giants +3.5 over SAN FRAN - I'm still not sold on Alex Smith against teams that are actually good. And especially not against teams that have a d-line like the Giants.
New England +2 over NY JETS - As much as I hate the Pats, they don't lose three in a row. They don't. A big part of me hopes they do but they don't.
GREEN BAY -13 over Minny - I'll take the Packers making some adjustments for their second go around with Ponder. I like the Vikes in the second half of the season but not against the Packers at home. Too much.
Also, I'm gonna go ahead and give myself a W on the Raiders/Chargers game. Nobody thinks less of Norv Turner than I do. If that's not enough to convince you then I'll be throwing down the Cancer Card. I didn't want to but you made me.
Last week
7-7
UFC FIGHT - Cain Velasquez beats Dos Santos by decision.
WBO FIGHT - Manny Pacquiao beats Marquez in 8
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