Fun With Cancer: Grow a Beard!

You heard me. Grow a beard. A real beard not one of those silly chin strap beards, Color Me Bad isn't holding auditions for new members. Not an ironic mustache, we've got enough hipster doofuses on our hands. You know what would be ironic, if Wilfred Brimley showed up and ripped that silly little caterpillar off your lip. No, I want to see a real, mangy, shaggy, robust beard. The kind that makes your significant other ask - How long do you plan on keeping that? Do it for me, the cancer patient.

I'd join you if I could. Two weeks ago I had a beautifully full beard and while trimming it I accidentally took a giant chunk out of the right side. I figured I'd just trim it all down to stubble so it could grow back in even. It hasn't grown beyond stubble in two weeks. Two weeks! I used to be able to grow out a sizable face pelt in that time. Now, nothing.

Don't just do it for me. Do it for our forefathers. Those that made America what it is today all the while picking out mid-day snacks from their tremendous facial locks. Let's take back the beard from hippies, college professors and creepy molesters and claim it for those that used to sport it - Real Men.