Saturday, November 12, 2011

A Good Boot in the Ass

It's hard to feel normal when you are in sweatpants every day.  I don't think this revelation is worthy of a cross stitch pillow or anything but it was the first thing I thought of when I got up this morning and I wanted to share it with all of you.  Something about sweatpants says "I am considering life as a shut in."  I've been in the same sweatpants for three straight days.  For the record, I have been showering and changing skivvies.  I feel bad but not Internet Gamer Living in His Mom's Basement Bad. 

It would be fitting that the final chemo infusion would be the worst of them.  From the moment I sat down for the last infusion and they started running the saline into my arm I was overwhelmed with nausea.  A little trick, if you ever feel like you need to projectile vomit, holding an alcohol swab under your nose helps prevent that from happening.  The smell of the rubbing alcohol is so strong it takes away the nausea.  I spent four hours in the reclining chair slowly filling a waste basket with dried up swabs and their individually wrapped packaging.  It worked.  I still haven't throw-up once in four months.  This may come back to haunt me the next time I have a deliciously messy meal at a barbecue joint.  I imagine the moment that the handy-wipes come out I'll be thrown into some kind of Deer Hunter-esque flashback of a nurse slapping my face while screaming - Mau!  Didi Mau!

I've also managed to not crap my pants during this entire treatment.  I don't know why I'm so proud of these two achievements.  It's not like on a regular day I keep track of such things.  Let's see, what's on my to do list today?  Not soil myself.  Check.  Now onto that job interview.  No, I'm normally not so concerned with the kind of things that two-year-olds have to overcome.  I have to admit, in my head sometimes, I do congratulate myself for being such a Big Boy. 

I do have plans for today, if I can manage to work my way out of the sweats.  I've got jeans and a pair of cowboy boots just waiting to be put on so I can leave the house.  At the risk of sounding like one of the those horrible Harpies on Sex and The City it is amazing how much better I feel when I put on boots.  There is just something about a good pair of cowboy boots that makes me feel a whole lot less sick.  A whole lot more healthy.  And another step closer to my old life. 

Here's my College Football Picks:

Texas -1.5 over MIZZOU
KANSAS STATE +5.5 over Texas A&M
FLORIDA STATE - 9 over Miami
Michigan State -2.5 over IOWA

Last week 2-1

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