Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Drew Barrymore makes Terrible Movies

In the past I have joked that the best relationships are long distance relationships.  Reason being, in those weekends spent together you get the absolute best of that person and none of the bullshit that we all come with.  The time spent between visits talking on the phone is typically centered around planning your next great getaway so again you don't have to ever deal with details like what is actually going on in the other persons life, long term wants and needs and if the two of you could ever make it through a difficult time.  You know, the little things.  It magnifies the best of times, diminishes the mundane and practically eradicates any of the hard stuff. 

If we were smart we would all live at least a days drive for our significant others.  Just think of how chock full'o fun your weekends would be.  How little, if ever, would you argue - even bicker - if you knew that the clock was running on your time together?  Think of all the romantic dinners out.  The ski trips you were always meaning to take.  I bet the divorce rate would plummet.  Hell, this could pull us out of the recession.  Maybe Obama should add this to the next stimulus package.  We'd solve the housing crisis, Amtrak would finally start making money, maybe even the US Postal Service could turn things around with the flood of lovelorn letters.  Okay, the last one is pretty unlikely since text messages and emails don't require postage or take three days to arrive.  But bars and restaurants would be full.  Every struggling actor/writer/artist/musician in America would have guaranteed employment.  Not in their chosen field but let's face it, if they were actually any good they'd be famous by now right?  God, I hope that's not right. 

Yep, it would be nothing but good times.  Sunny, happy, no deeper than the surface good times.  And there's the rub.  You cannot fully appreciate the good times without braving the bad.  My first night spent at home with my Lovely Girlfriend doing absolutely nothing would not have meant nearly as much had we not spent so many weeks unable to do anything about being apart. 

Also, a world filled with long distance relationships would eliminate the concept of make-up sex.  Now hotel sex, that'd be another thing all together.  So we'll have to call that side of the argument a tie.  So, in conclusion, we are probably stuck with each other - full time. 



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