Is P90X a Carcinogen?

Since my first blog posting (yesterday) I've been swamped with questions from readers (in my mind). How did this happen? To someone as handsome as you? Can you still, you know, satisfy me? I will try to answer all your questions and more and leave you all as satisfied as I do the bevy of ladies (again, in my mind).

How did this all start? The long and short of it is that P90X causes cancer. My lovely girlfriend and I had decided to take on the extreme home workout in December of last year. We actually got around to using it in March. By May we were cruising through the program and spending many hours admiring our delts, tri's and bi's - among other things. Wink, wink.

That is when P90X lashed out and gave me cancer!! I was doing some kind of turbo-mach3-tippy-toes-and-fingertips-only push up when my shoulder buckled and I went down. After sobbing quietly in a heap on the floor for what seemed like several hours I went to the bathroom to examine the damage - BOOM! CANCER!

No, not really. Everything looked fine. It wasn't until the next day that I noticed an odd lump around my left collar bone that I mistook for swelling from the triple-Xtreme-zero-gravity push-up injury.

From there it took me about two months of ignoring it and about four days of my Dear Mother's nagging before I went to see a doctor. So I guess P90X probably doesn't cause cancer (you can stop writing the cease and desist letter now, Tony Horton). As a matter of fact it may have helped me notice an otherwise minor thing on my otherwise perfect body (not mind this time - mirror! Okay, foggy mirror from a distance).

On a side note, my girlfriend got through the whole program and has a rockin little bod with an amazing ass.