The NU Hotel, 85 Smith St. Brooklyn, NY 11201. That is were my beautiful and talented
girlfriend got us a free room while she is on her business trip and I am on my Cancer Roadtrip. As a man of modest tastes and meager means (like any good Mainer) this is a SWANK hotel. Metal ice buckets! Over 12 channels on the tv! Clean towels and linens! Metal Ice Buckets!!!
I lived in Brooklyn in 95 and 96 but could never afford the Brooklyn Heights/Carrol Gardens neighborhood that we are now hanging in. I lived in and near by Bensonhurst. Guidoville. The Ribbed Tank-Top Capital of the World. Sausage and Peppers stands for a far as the eye can see. I could go on and on.
And I will! Where Hai Karate is in Hai Demand. Home of the Weeping Jesus Wall Hanging. The original creators of the Madonna/Whore Complex. Where every man is a king and every wife a victim of domestic violence. Okay, okay, not every wife - they're Italians not Irish.
Either way, we had a great night walking around Brooklyn Heights and a fantastic meal at Armando's. We returned to the hotel to catch Donnie Brasco on AMC and that's when it occurred to me (and the ultimate point of this blog posting, finally) wouldn't being a cancer patient be an excellent cover story to infiltrate the Mob?
Depp was Don the Jeweler. I could be Lympho Julio, maybe Jules the Pale. The FBI should be all over this. I'd happily sign up to take on the Greater Bangor mob. Plus, it appears that I'm already qualified to hit the streets. I'm Italian, I love both mob movies and cop movies (so I've got pretty extensive training already) and I've got cancer. My "in" would be an abundance of prescription meds that I'm more than willing to peddle. My cover story would check out as I eventually lost all my hair and could no longer keep down all the canollis.
I would get in so deep with these hardened criminals that I would take on almost all of their characteristics. Except I can't smoke, drink or stay up much past 1130.
I think we just found Marty Scorsese's next hit!
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