As a kid I was an enormous fan of comic books. Captain America was my favorite but basically any and all comic super heroes were fair game for my rather enormous comic book collection. I no longer read comic books (because I'm a man and not some kind of weird full grown adolescent that you shouldn't trust around kids) but the idea of having super powers still appeals to me.
Today I found out that chemo therapy changes my cells on a molecular level. You may be asking yourself, why didn't they tell you this before you started taking chemo? I'm sure they did. I'm also certain it's mentioned in one of the fifty-three pamphlets collecting dust in my room. I tend to zone out when the nurses start talking about support groups or logging all my meals and resulting bathroom needs (wouldn't that be a fun addition to the blog?!) or how to stay hydrated (drinking water would be my first guess but I'm new to this whole cancer thing). The list goes on and on so I'm certain they mentioned chemo therapy changes my cells on a molecular lever at some point and I failed to pick up on it.
Wow! Awesome! You know who else got their cells changed on a molecular level? Spiderman! The Hulk!! Captain Fuckin America!!!
I could have a cornucopia of powers just waiting to be discovered! I could be faster, stronger, smarter, sexier then ever before!
Say hello to Cancer Boy! or maybe - Hodgkin's Man!! perhaps... Captain Lymphoma!!!
When *I* was a kid I was always far more impressed with Batman and Iron Man and the other heroes who didn't actually have special powers. Instead, they found ways to use technology to overcome their bodies' natural weaknesses and turn them into ass-kicking mad men.
ReplyDeleteSo I suppose we both turned ended up in fairly predictable ailments.
Good luck with the DNA-alteration thing, but if I've learned one thing by being a 37 year old man-child who still enjoys reading comics, it's that the guys who WANT or TRY to get abilities through mutation almost always end up as super villains instead of super heroes. That's fine with me... I'm going to need a nemesis once they implant my next round of cybernetics.